I’ve provided two marked-up pages below as examples of the kind of work I do when consulting, writing comments and editing suggestions directly on writers’ scripts.
Both of these are from my own script,a sci-fi project entitled ECHO CANYON. Some of the editing may be a bit heavier than I generally do for clients’ work, since I obviously know the writer so well and what will work for his rewrite … but not too much. On your script I won’t suggest direct line replacements as much as let you know a line isn’t working and why so you can figure out a replacement.
Here is the first page:
And the second:
